chicken bone broth

Bone broth is a great source of protein and collagen. I went to get beef bone broth but the store I went to didn't have any so I settled for the chicken instead of leaving empty-handed.

waist trainer conundrum

The waist trainer doesn't fit that bad, and it does what I want it to do. It's just weird how I don't usually feel motivated to put it on even though it will help me get the results that I desire. If not terribly uncomfortable, if I put it on right. And it shapes me like I want to be shaped.

I usually don't leave the house for the waist trainer on and usually don't have it on for more than 2 hours. I have left the house with a waist trainer on before, not the one I most recently bought. It was okay, and I was definitely ready to take it off before I got home, but it was not like it was super inconvenient to take off, and I was still able to wait until I got home.

Waist trainer in combination with turmeric, especially turmeric ginger tea, seems to be a good strategy.

pelvic floor therapy progress 1/17

I've been with my second physical therapist since November 17th of last year, and everything has been going swimmingly! She's a great person in general, with a great personality and a lot of life experience! She's much more concerned with moving at my pace. 

I'm making a lot of slow and steady progress with my pelvic floor, and I look forward to being prepared to have that part of my body very healthy hopefully by this summer. Like any other therapy, you're not supposed to be in it for years unless you have exceptional issues. I don't know if pelvic floor (that wasn't damaged by surgery or others extenuating circumstances) warrants me being in therapy for years.

While I say that having had the same chiropractor for years.

Either way, whether I'm ready to end therapy or not, my pelvic floor situation will be different by this summer no matter what as long as I keep going to therapy and taking all the suggested steps.

If your physical therapist is hurting you, get a new physical therapist. It's not supposed to hurt like that. Especially, if you're doing internal work.

new waist shaper and maybe a dietitian

I got a new waist shaper from Walgreens and it fits a lot better than the other two I got online. The other two I got online still fit, but this different style of lace shaper that's different from those two seems to be more accommodating.

My physical therapist said I have a very solid core. I only have reason to believe it's stubborn belly fat over my abs. When I do better with my diet, I can see my abs a lot better.

I'm considering getting a dietitian, and I'm going to check in with my insurance if they cover it.

I could definitely use some guidance and an accountability system.

A year, already... (including cannabis and mushrooms talk)

This is approximately my sober anniversary. I don't remember the exact day, I remember it's around this time. Around the 16th so, it's just going to be a thing now.

A lot of the changes that a person feels when they first quit happens within the first 3 months. It doesn't feel any different from there on out.

I can definitely say a lot of other health issues have come to light that maybe alcohol was helping me ignore. Alcohol was definitely making some things worse, and not changing much else. Life is definitely different on the other side of having been drinking since I was a teen to quit at 34 and now be 35.

I'm also not doing zero alcohol. I still do tinctures, drink kombucha (VERY RARELY), and I tried some of my partners not alcoholic beer which actually turned out to be low alcoholic beer. It has less than 0.5, but of course someone who is no alcohol means no alcohol so that would be unacceptable by a different standard. 

THERE WERE SOME DAYS WHERE I THOUGHT I WASN'T GOING TO MAKE IT. Times are still hard out here in capitalism is still a very pressing issue. I never judge how anybody decides to cope with capitalism. And I recently thought about drinking and alcoholic beverage to see how I felt about it after quitting a year later. I'm still thinking about it. I'm not duty-bound to this idea of sobriety. My biggest concern is that after a year I've completely lost my tolerance so one drink might make me do a lot more than I wanted to do.

I think about when drinks were made way too strong for me, and I totally lost it and it was embarrassing. Nothing tragic came from those events, but I was definitely out of control of my own situation and that was terrible enough. Only having one drink that somebody made to completely knock you out isn't good at all.

And it's not that I'm unhappy with cannabis products. I just don't seem to have much of a threshold for THC. I can't knock back these drinks and edibles that are 5% THC like some people can very easily do. But maybe it's a psychosis thing.

I developed a migraine condition from quitting seroquel, so mushrooms have been suggested to me. It's very important to figure out a microdose with mushrooms. I'll very likely do that under some sort of supervision.

That's all I have, so far!

back to working out!

I wanted to start working out but wasn't really feeling motivated until I got the finch app! It has all kinds of mental health stuff on it, and anyone can move at their own pace. They also have some workout goals and stretches, yoga, and exercises! I'm starting off really light on purpose. I might do more as time goes on. It's only getting colder outside from here, so it's not like I don't have time. It's just hard to stay motivated when I'm not seeing the results I want. Working out is fun to do, in general, but it's about staying motivated. Doing small things once a day a few times a week once a week is better than nothing. And I want to do it. And now this app helps me stay motivated!

update November 25th 2023

All around health update

I started doing a shadow work journal a few days ago, and it's really been helping me peel back the layers on a lot of mental and physical stuff. It's helping me a lot more than I thought it would, in general!

I think you're supposed to burn these when you're done with them, and I'm going to honor that.

I'm going to restart doing calisthenics either today or tomorrow. I've just have so much going on with my reproductive issues that it's taking up all of my headspace. I got a pelvic wand, and my new physical therapist suggested dilators. I already have a dildo, and now I feel less discouraged to use it.

I made progress with the dildo today. I got it all the way in without any pain, and left it in for a few minutes. It suggested to leave it in for longer periods of time as you go on.

I'm also going to make an appointment to see if I actually have vaginismus, knowing that there are other disorders that are possible. I also have a lot of discharge, so I can't discount that as something that could be connected to a greater issue.

Some people just have a lot of discharge and that's normal. I'm going to go get it looked at in case it's linked to a different issue, since I already have a dysfunction.

I got a waist trainer and I'm going to start using at least once a week, specifically. Setting the goal to once a week just for the sake of remembering to do it. It's not that I don't want to do it. It's just I forget I have it.

Depending on how much longer I'm in town, I might get a month by month gym membership.

That's all for now!